Taking Levellin Up to a Whole New Level

I guess you use what works.

Geek Overcomes Social Anxiety
By Turning Life into RPG
By Ross P. Davis

Gainesville, FL - Area geek Ross Davis has learned to overcome his long-standing social anxiety by turning his life into a Role-Playing Game (RPG).

RPG systems such as D&D and GURPS have been part of the geek culture for decades, but they have traditionally served to further cement their participants into Loserdom. With the advent of computerized RPGs such as Neverwinter Nights and the Final Fantasy series, geeks have been able to further socially isolate themselves. Davis claims that his revolutionary application of RPGs can increase a geek's social skill by several levels and result in the accomplishment of new social feats.

"I've been playing RPGs for a long time," said Davis. "From Bard's Tale to Chrono Cross, I've been leveling up while everyone else is out living it up. I decided it was time to get out of my apartment and join the party... wait, hold on a sec." Davis then lapsed into silence as his full attention became focused on Lost Kingdoms II.

"Hooooo buddy - I think this bad boy is gonna cough up a Runestone!" Davis blurted out several minutes later.

After being bribed with an old P233 Gateway system, the 26-year-old Systems Programmer was convinced to leave his apartment in order to demonstrate his RPG-As-Real-Life system.

"Okay," Davis explained, "the goal here is to gain experience so you can level up - just like an RPG. For example, I haven't had a date since about the time that Skies of Arcadia: Legends came out. So my objective is to talk to girls without being paralyzed by overwhelming social anxiety."

He continued, "Every time I talk to a girl, I reward myself with some experience points. The longer the conversation, the more experience I get. Instead of playing as a character in a game, I am the character and my social life is the game. In the end, I am able to transform an unknown, frightening reality into a comfortable, exciting fantasy. Remember - reality: bad, fantasy: good."

"Right now my focus is on one of my stats that I call CER - my Chick Exposure Rate. See, as my CER increases, my probability of performing a critical hit (getting a date) dramatically increases. It's just a matter of simple statisti-" Davis then broke off, his eyes following an attractive University of Florida co-ed on rollerblades.

"Yow! Now that's a perfect level ten," Davis said appreciatively.

Davis explained that talking to the "level ten" girl was out of the question due to his lack of experience. "When you first start an RPG, you don't immediately strap on your leather armor and charge headlong at a Lich King. You've got to work your way up to it. And so it is with women."

Davis then made his way to a nearby bus stop where an aged homeless woman wearing Hefty bags on her feet was slouched against a fire hydrant.

"Now THIS is more like it!" Davis exclaimed enthusiastically.

He proceeded to have an animated discussion with the transient. After several minutes of conversation, Davis presented her with $1.58 in loose change and reported on his progress.

"I'd say I only get 5 EXP for that encounter," Davis said with some disappointment. "She was a very low-level creature. Still, every little bit contributes to that next level." He then logged the five experience points into his PDA.

Psychologist Greta Amberbock gave cautious approval when told of Davis's RPG approach to socializing.

"It is often very helpful to have a reward system when dealing with social anxiety and other disorders," Amberbock said. "Of course, one must be sure that the reward itself is healthy. For a person who spends much of his time immersed in a video game world, it is perhaps not so healthy to have a video game related reward. Still, it appears that he has made progress and will continue to do so."

Added Amberbock, "At least until [Final Fantasy] Crystal Chronicles comes out."

Source

Spending with a Smile

If I gotta sign a cheque every month, I should do it on this.

I Love Katamari

We rolled the King and Queen, We did.

The thrill of getting the katamari big enough to roll people up still has not worn off. The squealing and hollering is music to my ears. This time round, the soundtrack didn't really roll me off my feet, with my favourites being the upbeat Everlasting Love and the offpitch rendition of the theme song, Katamari on the Rocks. If madness has a song, that would be it.

I fully support the cause of saving the pandas and have rolled up enough stuff in the streets to make sure they'll be around to populate Katamari 3.. if it ever comes to that. Highly unlikely though, as creator Keita Takahashi was already reluctant enough to see a sequel but grudgingly decided to go for it so that the result wouldn't be a total botched-up job. He's all about originality and creativity but if the fans have clamoured for it, who is he to stop the King of all Cosmos from making a triumphant return ?

All I want is more places to roll in, more variety of stuff to roll up and more dramatic sound effects when the big ball looms nearer and nearer. More of an expansion pack than anything else. The fiery katamari was a novelty, the sumo wrestler eating everything in his path a total workout, and the new rules invented by Baboo! a change but nothing compares to just gunning for the biggest katamari before the clock runs down. The rumble of the controller as the first pieces of land are picked up, absolute thrill !

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na katamari damacy...

Demon vs King of the Cosmos

Shin Megami Tensei : Nocturne, henceforth known as SMT:N intrigued me for about 2 hours. After that, I went back to Katamari Damacy. Rolling around collecting junk is severely underrated fun. Dark Cloud 2 had me reeled in for 100 hours but all that real-time action made me feel like there's a thousand little Max's in my head, jabbing with one of his cubic-looking hammers. Radiata Stories captivated me with the storybook pretty pictures, but I really am short of memory card space right now. Can't bear to erase any of the old ones. Yet to finish Suikoden 4 too, after stashing about 80 characters into my ship. Finishing a game has never been my goal when I put a new disc in. Endings make me sad. What the hell have I actually finished playing then ? Most of the stuff I play on the PC is. On the PS2, I'd say Kingdom Hearts, FFX, Under The Skin, Suikoden 3, Katamari Damacy. Geez. Most other stuff, I'd bet it hovers around the 70% completed range. I imagine that if I leave it at that, the world I left still goes on. But the ones I have completed, they feel completed, done .. and dead. I bet I'd make the lousiest game reviewer around.

Hunt for Horns

Damn you Virum. 106 hours and countless senseless dragon slayings, and still you drop just your damned tongues. Gimme your horns !

Ranting about : Atelier Iris

Gamers Unite !

A headline designed for sensationalism, and this coming from the Straight Times (26th July, 2005). I took the mentioned survey, the basis of its findings, at PlanetGames. In a hall with playable current consoles, a lone computer sits in a corner. Tired of fiddling with the Nintendo DS and being jostled by kids in uniforms, I went to the remote corner for a breather. Oooh, a survey. Clickety-click. Gosh, this is more long-winded than a rambling Paula Abdul. Okay, just for laughs, calls friend over, enters some ridiculous responses. Guffaws. Alrite, finally done. Result - I'm fairly prone to aggression. Walks off.

This survey is skewered towards the intended violence report. The questions go 'Do you feel agitated if you don't get to play as much as you want ?' or 'Do you behave more aggressively towards family members after playing ?' If they had displayed questions like 'Do you feel like shitting after playing?', the big headline would be "FOUR IN 10 GAMERS AT RISK OF LOOSE BOWEL SYNDROME".

Let me just replace the game addicts with something else. Say, working.

'Workaholics typically experience symptoms like the inability to stop working even when they know they should be doing something else, constantly obsessing over working, engaging in conflicts with parents and other family members over their working hours and needing to work more and more to get their fix of power and money.'

Everybody celebrates those people though right. Work = productive = useful. Yeah, useful to fill their own coffers (and when they die their coffins) with important better-than-thy-neighbours things like credit cards and cavernous, flashy cars.

Or what about this :-

'Psychologists typically experience symptoms like the inability to stop analysing even when they know they should be doing something else, constantly obsessing over who to pigeon-hole next, engaging in conflicts with parents and other family members over their over-analysing and needing to analyse more and more to get their fix of stuffing people into categories of neat little boxes.'

Alright, alright, being all defensive is just a cover for my addict compulsions right. Next time some computer beckons me to take a survey though, I'm going to tie it up a red ant-infested (ode to nick stokes, great screaming) tree, bitch slap it and then take a real big rock and smash it to smithereens. Who, me violent ? :B

Barrel !

I've heard various renditions of Barrel ! Ba~rel ! BARREL ! over the past month or so. Atelier Iris : Eternal Mana has that one hook that has sunk itself deep into me. Collecting.

Collecting food, making new clothes, synthesizing new recipes, gathering materials and of course hoarding cole, the in-game currency. When I present my stuff to [col]Lector, she'd unlock the soundtrack, character intros or artwork. It's with great glee and satisfaction that I see more ????? turn to a Midnight Illusion or an Artwork 04. The kick though, comes just from stuffing my inventory with stuff I'd probably loath to make use.

The almost endless combination of materials lead me to spend hours just testing making a fluffy roll. Getting new reviews, changing the store review, reading customer reviews. A whole barrel of fun. Mixing different ingredients can sometimes lead to some strange reviews. A run-of-the-mill would be :

a little sweet
too sour
a lot clean

The weirder ones I've seen :

a lot.. too adults only
deadly odor
vomit-inducing
ginormous (when you mix tall magi grass with say, a big log)

I'm into hour number 90 into it, but no real idea of when the end might come. Only a game like this would have me wishing it wouldn't come for another 50, maybe.